Every online store you'll see has a section for "Objects" or "Accessories," which is usually a bunch of lame pieces of fake fruit or mirrored orbs.
Growing up, one of my friend's mother had placed at least 16 wooden bowls filled with dried pinecones around their home. I spent so much time growing up wondering what the fuck was up with those pinecones and whether or not this woman was actually a squirrel that I completely missed the fact that I was totally gay until I was 19 years old.
IT WAS ALL HER FAULT.
So what the fuck did I do when I was old enough to get my own stuff? I took a page out of pinecone lady's book, of course.
Here is a photo of my living room:
Note the wooden bowl filled with balls of different colors, and one extra-special ball that has a map of the world on it. When I bought it, it came with a sticker on it that said the globe ball was not completely accurate and was not meant for educational purposes. Like I'd be sitting there, drunk on my couch, pick up the globe ball and be all like, "Hey everyone, Guam is way farther South than I thought it was!" Thanks for the warning, Pier One.
But really, what's a coffee table without a bowl filled with stupid crap? What else are you supposed to put on there? BAM! Enter Flatland OK, a design company that features a ridiculously awesome collection of "objects" churned out by designer Tim Fleming.
Check it out. You'll never need to see another pinecone again.
For more cool shit and a general disdain for pinecones, follow me on Twitter @amandawaas