So, I love the shit out of red lipstick. Only problem is: red lipstick never looks red on me.
I see your eyes crinkling up and your head tilting right now like 'WHAAA?,' but I am TELLING YOU, this thing is true. Every time I try on red lipstick, it looks pink on me.
I have told this fact to many doubters throughout the years. People j-u-s-t like you, who swear that they are the ones, who at long last, can find the true red shade that will look candy apple, corvette, wicked queen red on my lips. They've taken me to department stores, drug stores, and deep into the realms of their own make-up drawers...and yet never has anyone been able to crack this nut.
Most recently a kicky make-up artist named Desiree at the Bobbi Brown counter at Bloomingdales took this red/pink admission of mine on as a personal challenge. She said she'd never heard of anything like this before and swore she would find me a red that looked red on me. 24 minutes later, after visiting with her friend Wendy at the Chanel counter, and even dragging me over to see Victor at the Giorgio Armani counter, Desiree finally accepted defeat.
I'm not 100% certain why it is that my lips simply refuse to register a red hue. It might be due to the fact that my skintone is as white as the driven snow (i.e. corpse like). I mean, I'm just about as white as they come--like "Ivory" foundation sort of makes me look tan. But this red bullshit is seriously annoying. And also, lots of other pale people wear red lipstick.
Is there ANYONE else out there that has this problem? Are all pale women wearing red lipstick being photoshopped? I feel like I'm in that Will Smith movie where the world has ended and it's just me left...wearin my pink lipstick. All alone.