Some Thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey

Perhaps this should have been included in my "things I'm afraid to tell you" post: I read all three books in the 50 Shades of Grey series. 

Last week. 

i.e. I was so sucked into this bullshit, I finished all 3 books in less than 7 days. 

These books were SO bad, ppl. Like soooooooo. 

In fact, never have I been more convinced that I myself could easily write a bestseller. Cause if these books are best sellers, I would venture to guess that most eleventh graders who speak English as a first language would be equally qualified to write "best sellers."

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A Rainbow of Crazy

Have you ever seen those color co-ordinated bookshelves and thought to yourself, Ugh, that is so stupid, the people who do this to their books are a whole lotta crazy.

Yeah, um, me too.

So how come I found myself arranging my books by color tonight? It was one of those out-of-body experiences; my husband is out of town and I'm at the point of pulling out a glue gun and bedazzling my jeans. Or maybe the cat. 

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[WHO GIVES A SHIT?] Judging A Book By Its Cover

Look: I appreciate the original sentiment behind the idea of NOT judging a book by its cover but here's the thing: I ALWAYS JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. Like I mean A-L-W-A-Y-S.

And, quite frankly, the idea that I shouldn't be judging a book by its cover is sort of annoying to me now. Cause I think if you are writing a book, you best be spending a fuckload of time with your publisher making sure your cover looks kick-ass. And if you're a publisher, I'm guessing you already spend bucketfulls of cash money on a staff of peeps hired for the express purpose of churning out cool covers. So can we just let this shit die already?

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