THEY'RE BAAAAACK!: DESIGN STAR PREMIERES JULY 11TH

Ok, fine. You fucking win, HGTV.

A personalized photo of David Bromstad holding a pic of me with hearts drawn all around itis enough to get my bloggity blogging ass out of hibernation and talkin about the new season of Design Star.

GAME. SET. MATCH.

Sidenote: whoever thought of this idea srsly deserves a raise.

Anyway, Design Star is back on July 11th! Yay!

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10 Reasons You Should Immeds Audition For HGTV's Design Star

Ok, so HGTV is casting for its next season of Design Star and you know who should totally try out??? YOU!

I'm serious, ppl. Many of you have blogs and some of them actually don't suck! You could be the next Emily! Or the next Nina! OR, if you're a deeply closeted male hoping to bury your sexuality even deeper into the closet via a faux engagement, you could be the next Courtland!

As for me, I prefer to be a coward and hide behind the safety and comfort of my macbook air. But in the hopes of encouraging all y'all, I thought I'd come up with a list of the top 10 reasons you [insert name here] should try out for HGTV's Design Star!

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Secrets From A Stylist Completes Me

Dear HGTV,

Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Just walk straight the fuck into the head of network programming, and tell that bitch you'd like to order a million billion eps of "Secrets From a Stylist."

I mean it....and I'm not playin around. Look, I KNOW you know that I've got a lot of bitchtastical things to say. And in truth, I think most of the shit on your network is a disaster. But the times are a'changin and for the first time, I feel like mebbe you bitches are getting that? Cause Emily Henderson's Secrets From a Stylist was everything your network is NOT: smart, chic, aspirational, young, fun, and not even a teeny bit cookie cutter.

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[DESIGN STAR RECAP] FINALE: I've Seen Fire And I've Seen Rain...

EMILLLLLLLYYYYYY WOOOONNNNNN!

MICHAEL WORE SCARVEESSSSSSS! NINA WAS A BIIIITCCCHHHHH! COURTLANDDD'S STILLL GAAAY! CANDICE WORRRRE DENIM GAUCHOSSSSS!

At long last, this season of Design Star has come to an end. And much like the last day of sleep away camp when you're out of weed and possibly dealing with a newly acquired STD, it's still all pretty bittersweet.

Now, as I mentioned last week, before we went into last night's finale I was already 100% poz that Emily won.

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Design Star IN MY FACE

So this happened.

(And yes that photo was taken with MY MOTHERFUCKING CELL PHONE! LAST NIGHT! AT THE SHELTERPOP/MGBW EVENT!).

[RECORD SCRATCH].

Ok, so I had zero clue that the HGTV Design Star crew would be there...and when they walked in I was so taken aback I mostly just stared (oh, and took more cell phone photos). And then the adorable-licious Amy from Shelterpop came over and introduced me! To Michael! And Nina! And if you think meeting someone face-to-face who you've blogged and bitched about for weeks on end is weird, then you are so fucking right. It was. It was so very weird...and so very fabulous.

I know you want deets, so here are the answers to all of your burning questions...

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[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 9: People in Glass Houses

FIN-A-FUCKIN-LY.

Yep folks, at long last it happened. We popped our individual challenge cherries last night, and is the case the first time most of us got laid: it wasn't as good as we thought it would be...but also it wasn't as bad as getting punched .

Most importantly WE DID IT TOGETHER PPL! I-N-D-I-V-I-D-U-A-L-L-Y! And isn't that what matters most??

So yes, two milliseconds before this entire fucking show is over, we got our individual challenges. Each of the remaining 3 designers, Casey, Emily and Michael were asked to design a glass box "sun room."

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[WHERE I BLAHG]: The Brass Petal AKA Emily From Design Star!

Each week (ish) we'll pull back the curtain, and give you an insider's look into the lives of some of your favorite bloggers with 'Here's where I blahg.' This week: Emily from The Brass Petal (and Design Star!).

As you all know, I'm kind of obsessed with HGTV's reality TV competition Design Star. And while I've been known to rant-n-rave about the contestants from time to time EVERY FRIGGIN WEEK, I do believe that there is one shining star amidst a sea of crap: prop stylist Emily. She's quirky, and fun, and so knows how to make fun of herself. Basically it's all TLF up in hurr.

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[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 8: Ding Dong Dining Room Disasters

OK, LOOK.

I SWORE IN MY LAST RECAP THAT IF HGTV DIDN'T GIVE US SOME MOTHERFUCKING INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGES THIS WEEK, MY ENTIRE RECAP WAS GOING TO BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS AS A SHOW OF MY BP OIL SPILL SIZED FRUSTRATION WITH THIS NONSENSE. AND SURPRISE, SURPRISE, THERE WERE NO MOTHERFUCKING, COCK SUCKING, TIT BITCH INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGES THIS WEEK, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE ARE ONLY FOURRRRR PEOPLE LEFT ON THIS BULLSHIT EXCUSE FOR A DESIGN COMPETITION.

WE ARE EIGHT WEEKS INTO THIS B.S. AND I STILL HAVE NO CLUE IF ANY OF THESE DESIGNERS ARE CAPABLE OF PULLING OFF A ROOM BY THEMSELVES. SO YEAH...IF IT SEEMS LIKE I'M SCREAMING AT ALL Y'ALL, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I SO FUCKING AM.

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