You know, I started out just wanting to do a post of how totally fucking badass Elvis-n-Priscilla's old house out in LA was/is. But then I started scrolling through the pictures on Curbed LA.
I started off with this pic above.
I mean, gorge right?
All I really needed to see were those gigantic front doors with the hardware in the middle (wth is that called, by the way??) and I was pretty much in. Then I read that it was in Trousdale estates and I was WAY in. For those that aren't familiar, Trousdale was developed in the 1950's, and is basically a small area up in Beverly Hills where all the hot celebs of the time used to live. Translation: there are a bunch of killer, kick-ass mid-century homes there, that now all each cost a billion dollars. Case in point, Jennifer Aniston's house there that was listed for 42 millies.
But wait a red hot minute. Back to Elvis and Priscilla's house.
I was so excited to continue scrolling through the photos...that is: until my eyeballs were visually raped by shit like this:
I mean, is that a condom on the nightstand, or what? And honestly, you couldn't put your Mead college lined notebook on the country cozy chair away?? And wtf is all that crap on top of your dresser????
Who owns this place now?! The King has got to be rolling over in his grave.
Don't get me wrong--despite all this ridiculousness, the house is still TDF to the miggity maxx. But again I was reminded of this maxim regarding beautiful houses that has proven itself true again and again and again and AGAIN.
MOST RICH PEOPLE HAVE ZERO TASTE.
It's a bonafide tragedy! A house with this much history, character, and mid-century glam coming out of it's ass looks like a goddmaned Raymour & Flanniglan furniture showroom. And keep in mind, ppl: this is on THE DAY that the owners knew the professional photographers were coming to shoot it! (case in point: the bedroom) Just close your eyes and imagine what the joint looks like on days it's *not* being photographed!
Are your eyes bleeding yet? Cause mine sure as hell are.
What's even scarier is that I bet this person probably even worked with a designer! Someone they paid tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to to make their home into the chintz graveyard of our collectiive nightmares.
I think that some sort of process needs to be put into place so that before any rich person buys one of these killer houses, they should be required to submit a series o mood boards describing exactly how they plan to decorate the place. Prelim designs can be approved by an Interior Design Counicil appointed by other designers, bloggers, and verious other people with established taste. If you submit shitty boards, no dice. You'll be officially iced out from buying an amazing house until you can find yourself (or buy yourself) some good taste.
Can we start a petition to make this happen!?
In the meantime, my apologies to everyone I just forced to look at those photos. If I could send you all a valium to cope with the horror I have bestowed upon you, I totes would.